Before the world went nuts and people turned into whiny-ass vanguards of social righteousness, video game advertisements were frequently quite awesome. This is the first of what will probably be several posts highlighting samples of how the video game industry didn’t take itself so seriously and let their advertisements reflect the spirit of their games… through fun.
For this first go-around, let’s look at a few arcade game flyers.
Both of these individuals died of a cocaine overdose just minutes later
You can see the exit wounds. Awesome.
I trust this kid. Don’t you trust this kid?
Women + alcohol = What? You thought I was going to make a rape joke!? Shame on you!
Technically, all of those monsters are naked… but you’re only looking at the one, aren’t you?
Gambling? A woman showing her legs? This is DEFINITELY not Taliban-approved.
Where are your parents, you little shits?!
“Gotcha, bitch!” Lighthearted play between consenting adults, or #MeToo moment? Only CNN can say for sure.
That tank must have quite a girthy barrel
Check out this hot chick holding an uzi! Not pictured: a mad alien
Women + alcohol = no, I still won’t make a rape joke, you garbage humans!
All those fake ferns really sell it… That and the beige wall in the back… That and the sexy, savage redhead…
Part 1 of 2. Wait for it…
Thrust and munch!* (* From the “69” sex position instruction manual)
A Dallas Cowboys cheerleader advertising a baseball game? #Triggered
Wow, that’s an awfully elaborate and colorful background… Kinda distracts from the topless blonde mermaid. Oh, there’s a submarine game in there, too.
Oh no! Football AND attractive cheerleaders!? That’s TWO things that men enjoy! They must be stopped!