Cheeky gaming ads: vintage arcade flyers

Before the world went nuts and people turned into whiny-ass vanguards of social righteousness, video game advertisements were frequently quite awesome. This is the first of what will probably be several posts highlighting samples of how the video game industry didn’t take itself so seriously and let their advertisements reflect the spirit of their games… through fun.

For this first go-around, let’s look at a few arcade game flyers.

Enjoy!


Surfer-Arcade-flyer

Both of these individuals died of a cocaine overdose just minutes later


Cabal-arcade-flyer

You can see the exit wounds. Awesome.


Lil Hustler-arcade-flyer

I trust this kid. Don’t you trust this kid?


Tapper-arcade-flyer

Women + alcohol = What? You thought I was going to make a rape joke!? Shame on you!


ataxx-arcade-flyer

Technically, all of those monsters are naked… but you’re only looking at the one, aren’t you?


video poker-arcade-flyer

Gambling? A woman showing her legs? This is DEFINITELY not Taliban-approved.


Mortal Kombat-arcade-flyer

Where are your parents, you little shits?!


Gotcha-arcade-flyer

“Gotcha, bitch!” Lighthearted play between consenting adults, or #MeToo moment? Only CNN can say for sure.


Super Tank-arcade-flyer

That tank must have quite a girthy barrel


Mad Alien-Deco-data east-arcade-flyer

Check out this hot chick holding an uzi! Not pictured: a mad alien


Barrel pong-arcade-flyer

Women + alcohol = no, I still won’t make a rape joke, you garbage humans!


Jungle King-arcade-flyer

All those fake ferns really sell it… That and the beige wall in the back… That and the sexy, savage redhead…


Shark Attack-arcade-flyer

Part 1 of 2. Wait for it…


Shark Attack-arcade-flyer-GPI

Thrust and munch!* (* From the “69” sex position instruction manual)


Strike Zone-dallas cowboys cheerleader-arcade-flyer

A Dallas Cowboys cheerleader advertising a baseball game? #Triggered


Sea Devil-arcade-flyer

Wow, that’s an awfully elaborate and colorful background… Kinda distracts from the topless blonde mermaid. Oh, there’s a submarine game in there, too.


Hard Yardage-Strata-NFL-arcade-flyer

Oh no! Football AND attractive cheerleaders!? That’s TWO things that men enjoy! They must be stopped!

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