Both of these individuals died of a cocaine overdose just minutes later

You can see the exit wounds. Awesome.

I trust this kid. Don’t you trust this kid?

Women + alcohol = What? You thought I was going to make a rape joke!? Shame on you!

Technically, all of those monsters are naked… but you’re only looking at the one, aren’t you?

Gambling? A woman showing her legs? This is DEFINITELY not Taliban-approved.

Where are your parents, you little shits?!

“Gotcha, bitch!” Lighthearted play between consenting adults, or #MeToo moment? Only CNN can say for sure.

That tank must have quite a girthy barrel

Check out this hot chick holding an uzi! Not pictured: a mad alien

Women + alcohol = no, I still won’t make a rape joke, you garbage humans!

All those fake ferns really sell it… That and the beige wall in the back… That and the sexy, savage redhead…

Part 1 of 2. Wait for it…

Thrust and munch!* (* From the “69” sex position instruction manual)

A Dallas Cowboys cheerleader advertising a baseball game? #Triggered

Wow, that’s an awfully elaborate and colorful background… Kinda distracts from the topless blonde mermaid. Oh, there’s a submarine game in there, too.

Oh no! Football AND attractive cheerleaders!? That’s TWO things that men enjoy! They must be stopped!