Who Should Play Samus Aran in a “Metroid” Film? (80s August Special)
Welcome back to 80s August, The Splintering’s month-long celebration of the greatest decade since the discovery of the Pythagorean Theorem!
Though certainly not the first female video game character, Samus Aran from 1986’s Metroid is still considered by many to be the First Lady of gaming. It should therefore come as no surprise that the topic of a Metroid film keeps resurfacing, and with it, speculation as to which actress is best suited to portray the intergalactic bounty hunter. Perhaps such nonsense is expected when fans are asked to wait so long between game releases, eh?
Since The Splintering is – if nothing else – an exercise in ridiculous nonsense, that got us to thinking: who would make a truly great pick to don the Varia suit and kick some exoskeletal space pirate ass?
Here’s just a few possibilities from our point of view.
Yvonne Strahovski has most recently been cutting her drama chops on Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale and Tomorrow War, perhaps her most famous role is as bad-ass CIA agent Sarah Walker in the action/comedy series Chuck. Strahovski already has a bit of gaming cred, too, having portrayed Miranda Lawson in EA’s sci-fi series, Mass Effect (RIP Miranda’s booty).
Hey, if Warner Bros. can make Zachary Levi into Shazam, then Yvonne Strahovski could certainly be transformed into Samus.
Adrienne Palicki seemed well at home kicking ass as agent Bobbi Morse on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., so transitioning into the boots of Samus Aran shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. Plus, at 5 foot 11 inches tall, she’s much closer to the canonical 6 foot 3 inches of Metroid’s bounty-hunting heroine.
Does Palicki have the star potential to carry a big-budget motion picture? Only one way to find out!
Naomi Watts would have been a shoe-in a few years ago, but The Ring actress is now (believe it or not) fifty years old. That’s certainly not too old to make a single movie based on Nintendo’s Metroid, particularly if she’s behind a CG suit for most of the film. However, if the studio is looking to create a Metroid franchise of several movies over several years, pushing sixty may be a bit of a hard sell.
As soon as I heard that a new movie franchise was possibly in the works, my first concern was naturally “Is Idris Elba going to be in it?”
Gender-bending and race-bending characters are all the rage these days, so why not do both and score double the Internet back-pats from
journalists bloggers who would never actually watch the movie anyway? Ask yourself this, Nintendo: Is there any role that social media mobs won’t eventually insist that Idris Elba play? If you disagree with that, you know that kinda makes you racist, right?
Blake Lively is quite the social media darling these days, but she has also dipped her toes into a big, sci-fi production with 2011’s Green Lantern, and while that movie wasn’t nearly the success that Warner Bros. had hoped for, most of the criticism came from the script and direction rather than the performances.
Her “Oakland booty in the back” would fill out the Zero Suit quite nicely, though.
As we mentioned in the outset, a Metroid movie is almost certainly a bad idea. Not only is it very likely that modern Hollywood will screw it up, but the essence of what makes Metroid unique is not conducive to a feature film. Sure, there are elements of action and horror, but the sense of isolation pervasive throughout the game series is unlikely to lend itself well to a high-budget film.
Who do you want to see play Samus Aran? Should a movie based on Nintendo’s Metroid be made at all? Go ahead and shred us freely in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
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