Category Archives: Humor

Gallery: Horror Arcade Flyers (Festival of Dread Special)

Welcome back to the Festival of Dread, The Splintering‘s month long celebration of all things cookie, spooky, and altogether ooky. It’s been a while since we’ve done one of our “Cheeky Gaming Ads” galleries, and while Halloween doesn’t quite lend itself to the same level of “cheeky-ness”, we thought it would be fun to gaze at a few horror-themed arcade

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Top Ten Halloween-Themed Stages in Retro Games (Festival of Dread Special)

Welcome back to The Splintering‘s Festival of Dread, our month-long celebration of all things that go bump in the night! Today, we’re going to highlight some of the best Halloween and horror-themed stages in retro games. It’s important to note that this list will not include stages from games that are fully horror inspired like Castlevania or Ghouls N’ Ghosts,

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Cosplay feature: Capcom’s “Darkstalkers” (Festival of Dread Special)

There’s few game series that scream Halloween as much as Capcom’s Darkstalkers series. Featuring characters inspired by horror mainstays such as Dracula, the Mummy, and zombies, Darkstalkers has a fun take on whatever your Halloween fancy may call for. As with many other Capcom arcade fighters, the roster of Darkstalkers and its sequels (Night Warriors and Vampire Savior) features expressive

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Chomp Bites One Off: Bayonetta (Festival of Dread Special)

Welcome back to the Festival of Dread, The Splintering‘s month-long celebration of all things wicked and bewitching! Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of myth and fiction to get the stories that we non-fictional types just can’t get. To celebrate the festive

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Cheeky Gaming Ads: Vintage Japanese Flyers

Before the world went nuts and people turned into whiny-ass vanguards of social righteousness, video game advertisements were frequently quite awesome. This is the second post highlighting samples of how the video game industry didn’t take itself so seriously and let their advertisements reflect the spirit of their games… through fun. In this go-around, we’re looking exclusively at Japanese game

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Art Highlight: “Shadow Sentry” by Eric Ninaltowski

Today I’d like to take an in-depth look at some art by Eric Ninaltowski, who is currently working on an independent comic book project Shadow Sentry. Ninaltowski was kind enough to send me the below artwork after I entered a contest on social media.* I won fair and square, bitches. I didn’t promise him anything in return before being announced

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Top TEN Helicopter Video Game Bosses (Attack Helicopter Week Special)

Welcome back to Attack Helicopter Week here at The Splintering. Today were reaching back into the retro gaming vault to discuss the Top Ten best helicopter boss battles. Without further ado, let’s get started! 10. Rambo (NES) Rambo for the Nintendo Entertainment System isn’t a great game. The titular hero seems to spend far more time killing bees and tigers

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Greatest Levels in Gaming: “Alex Kidd in Miracle World” (SEGA Master System – Attack Helicopter Week Special)

Welcome back to The Splintering’s Attack Helicopter Week. Today we’re taking a look at one of the most innovative stages from SEGA’ flagship title for the Master System, Alex Kidd in Miracle World. In the mid to late 80s, the SEGA Master System was the underdog in a sales race with the Nintendo Entertainment System juggernaut. Despite starting development as

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Chomp Bites One Off: Gyro Man (Attack Helicopter Week Special)

Welcome back to Attack Helicopter Week here at The Splintering! We certainly hope that you’ve been enjoying some of our gaming content celebrating the best of our fine, attack helicopteroid friends! Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of myth and fiction to

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The Splintering Founder Plays “Get in the Gulag” Hosted by CФMMIЭ МДЯK

On Thursday, The Splintering founder and editor-in-chief Blake Worrell competed in a no-holds-barred competition known as Get in the Gulag, hosted by Adventures of Kim Il Sung creator and the UK’s most famous “Gay Space Communist”, CФMMIЭ МДЯK (Commi3 Mark). Joining in the competition were KOZOR co-creator Clayton Barton (representing Australia) and Cash Grab artist Donal DeLay (helping Blake to

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Who should play Samus in a “Metroid” film?

For some reason, the topic of a Metroid film keeps resurfacing, and with it, speculation as to which actress is best suited to portray intergalactic bounty hunter Samus Aran from Nintendo’s Metroid series. Perhaps such nonsense is expected when fans are asked to wait so long between game releases- they begin to ask for ever-more ridiculous things to satisfy their

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Greatest Levels in Gaming: “Kirby’s Adventure” (NES – Monochrome May Special)

Welcome back to The Splintering’s Monochrome May event! Today we’re introducing what may become a new feature: Greatest Levels in Gaming, starting with one of the Nintendo Entertainment System’s last, but most cherished games. Before we kick this off, if you have any concerns about spoiling a 30-year old game, then you might want to avoid this retrospective. Then again,

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Star Wars’ Rey Isn’t a Wahman, She’s a Genetic Aberration (aka a Mistake)

The most recent retcon by Lucasfilm (LFL) elaborates on The Rise of Skywalker‘s Palpatine being an ill-formed clone. So, to follow their reasoning, our hero physically interdicts against her father who’s also her grandfather who’s developmentally disabled? Maybe he was drinking, too… At the minimum, he’s got to be in danger of the opioid crisis. Genetic deformity’s got to hurt,

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“Borderlands 2” update pushes ads for Borderlands 3, breaks the game; Gearbox CEO responds (humor)

On 27 February, the Steam PC editions of Borderlands 2 and Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel received a software update which introduced a “SHiFT” profile name, which would replace the user’s Steam name in-game for the purposes of cross-play. The SHiFT name must be unique, and all players must create a new SHiFT profile to continue playing both Borderlands titles, whether they

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Unboxing Richard C. Meyer’s “Jawbreakers: GØD-K1NG” graphic novel

I recently received my copy of Jawbreakers: GØD-K1NG, the action/superhero graphic novel written by Richard C. Meyer (Iron Sights), co-written by Chuck Dixon (Batman) and illustrated by Aaron Alfeche. I backed the tier with an unsigned copy of the Jawbreakers book and featuring variant cover art by Kyle Ritter (Starblades). I thought I’d unbox it to give you a sense

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Chomp Bites One Off: Mr. Bones (Festival of Dread special, NSFW humor)

Welcome back to our special Halloween event here at The Splintering, the Festival of Dread! Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of myth and fiction to get the stories that we non-fictional types just can’t get. This edition of Chomp Bites One

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A message from Randy Pitchford: Gearbox sued over “Duke Nukem” soundtrack (humor)

Both Gearbox Software and Steam have been haled to court by video game composer Bobby Prince, the man responsible for the music of Doom, Wolfenstein 3D and Duke Nukem 3D. Prince alleges that 16 of his songs were used in 2016’s Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour without his permission, and without him receiving compensation. Prince provided music for

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Raiden laments a forgotten ”Mortal Kombat” anniversary

Greetings, mortals! It is I, Raiden, god of thunder and protector of Earthrealm. As many of you are prone to forgetting, mere mortals as you are, I wanted to remind everyone that the 26th anniversary of Mortal Monday is today. Yes, September 13th is the anniversary of the release of the original Mortal Kombat game for home consoles. But did

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Who is your Shenmue Waifu? (SEGA Dreamcast 20th Anniversary Week special)

Welcome back to SEGA Dreamcast 20th Anniversary Week here at The Splintering! Since Yu Suzuki’s Shenmue is one of the most iconic games on the Dreamcast platform, we had to include it with our Dreamcast-themed celebration. Since the first two Shenmue games are awash in lovely ladies, it occurred to us that there may be one to match up with

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Chomp Bites One Off: the SEGA Dreamcast (SEGA Dreamcast Anniversary Week Special)

Welcome back to SEGA Dreamcast 20th Anniversary Week here at The Splintering! If you missed last month’s interview celebrating 30 years of the SEGA Genesis, you can brush up on that intense exchange right here. Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of

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We asked gay icon Jack McFarland: What exactly is “Ogay”?

Last week, Ion Fury developer Voidpoint apologized after individuals from Reset Era criticized content in the game that they found offensive, including an image of a personal skincare bottle jokingly labeled “Ogay” (an “Olay” pun, in case you needed it spelled out). After the complaints surfaced, Voidpoint announced that they would donate $10,000 to The Trevor Project (an LGBT anti-suicide

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Chomp Bites One Off: Zeus (SEGA Genesis 30th Anniversary Week special)

Welcome back to SEGA Genesis 30th Anniversary Week here at The Splintering! We certainly hope that you’ve been enjoying some of our retro gaming content celebrating the launch of our 16-bit friend! Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of myth and fiction

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Chomp Bites One Off: the Model One SEGA Genesis (SEGA Genesis 30th Anniversary Week special – NSFW)

Welcome back to SEGA Genesis 30th Anniversary Week here at The Splintering! We certainly hope that you’ve been enjoying some of our retro gaming content celebrating the launch of our 16-bit friend! Every now and again, we at The Splintering are going to lean on our mascot, Chomp the Termite, to go out into the world of myth and fiction

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Crystal Dynamics’ “Avengers” character designs are a stunning and brave stand against “Uggophobia” (humor)

*Sigh* Here we go again…. Crystal Dynamics debuted a trailer for their long-awaited Avengers game during the Square Enix E3 2019 press conference, and almost immediately the “muh objective opinion as a consumer” trolls took to Internet comment sections, message boards and social media to voice their “muh objective opinions” on how ugly the characters looked in the trailer. The

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Marvel cancels “Squirrel Girl”, the first Marvel comic series starring hero with Down syndrome (humor)

Sigh. Here we go again… Just when it looked like Marvel actually cared about inclusion, off they go and cancel their only series starring a superhero with Down syndrome, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, which will end with issue #50. Marvel’s excuse? They didn’t really give one. Some are trying to tie the book’s cancellation to abysmally low sales, but shouldn’t

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