But can you pet the dog?

Running With Scissors recently announced that POSTAL 4: No Regerts, the “ultimate stress-relieving first-person shooter”, will be leaving early access and finally getting a proper 1.0 release on 20 April.

The Early Access version of POSTAL 4 has been available since 2019, and the 1.0 release promises a number of new features, such as the ability to pick your favorite voice for “The Postal Dude”, with your choices including returning voice actors Rick Hunter and Corey Cruise, as well as Jon St. John (the Duke Nukem guy).

Running With Scissors plans to roll out plenty of post-release content, including new weapons, side errands, performance improvements, graphical updates, Co-Op multiplayer, and world expansions.

Here’s the official word on Postal 4: No Regerts from Running With Scissors:

At long last, the iconic anti-hero The Postal Dude can take an entire week by storm, outlasting his competition and disrobing the very concept of the traditional 9-to-5 lifestyle. With a bladder ready to burst and a full suite of objectives to tackle with complete freedom in a responsive, ridiculous open-world sandbox, the P Dude’s day has come.

Rage across the city of Edensin, where each calendar day from Monday through Friday builds atop the last with new missions, locations, and game systems. Fling humans fleeing America over the Mexican border with a human-sized slingshot. Spread the holy word of the bidet to an unclean populace. Visit Kunny Island, where former porn star-turned-DJ Carter Cruise is performing. Enter a virtual world to bring a D-tier developer’s game to completion. Fend off flesh-eating hillbillies, pro-toilet paper cultists, greedy literal gold-diggers, and the police.

The P Dude’s odyssey across a fictionalized Arizona town is a timeless tale empowering players to take care of business in whatever way they damn well, please. Pacifism? Violent chaos? Drug-induced hallucinatory hijinks? Dealer’s choice!

Across several meaty updates in Early Access, POSTAL 4: No Regerts has introduced a load of wacky mechanics, weapons, quests, traversal tools, quality-of-life features, and more, making this 1.0 release the definitive modern POSTAL experience. POSTAL 4: No Regerts stands as an ode and testament to what has made the series beloved, scorned, hated, and appreciated for 25 years. Where else can you steer sniper bullets while high on catnip? Or use severed limbs as melee weapons? Or ride the Womb Coaster in a vagina-themed amusement park?

And yes, you can pet the dog.

POSTAL 4: No Regerts launches on Steam, GOG, and Green Man Gaming on 20 April for $39.99.

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