Before the world went nuts and people turned into whiny-ass vanguards of social righteousness, video game advertisements were frequently quite awesome. This is The Splintering‘s third post highlighting samples of how the video game industry didn’t always take itself so seriously, and sometimes let their advertisements reflect the spirit of their games… through fun.

For this third installment, we’re specifically highlighting Konami arcade game flyers.

To see previous installments, select below.

  1. Western arcade game flyers
  2. Japanese arcade flyers

Enjoy!


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Who wants to go a round with “Speedbags”?

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No matter what your opinion on leggy lady featured in this ad happens to be, can we all agree that Konami’s old logo was awful?

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“She breathes through her skin” – Hideo Kojima

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She did a gold-medal job shaving those pits. Great job!

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Bouffant blonde is ready to blow your load

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Is the machine supposed to be driving away, or running over the hot brunette on the ground?

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Top Gunner = Jackal if you were wondering. I wonder why Konami changed the name? Hm, let me thi- oop! Hot brunette with guns.

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For this one, Konami sprung for a monkey, while the lady on the left kinda gets my own monkey sprung… seriously, though, who remembers this game?

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The most offensive thing about this ad is that Castlevania never looked so silly, and I watched every episode of Captain N

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Special Project Y – chromosome, am I right?

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Shirtless and armed with a pistol. I’ll bet these fellas are feeling safer already…

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Pole dancing with bullets? Sold.

To see the older installments of Cheeky Game Ads, click below

  1. Western arcade game flyers
  2. Japanese arcade flyers

Thanks for reading!

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The Splintering’s TeePublic store has items for all budgets, great and small! If you like what we do & want to help keep our site 100% free of paid ads, go here!