Cheeky Gaming Ads: SEGA in the 90s

Posted on May 21, 2019 by The Splintering Staff 2 comments

Before the world went nuts and people turned into whiny-ass vanguards of social righteousness, video game advertisements were frequently quite awesome. This is The Splintering’s fourth post highlighting samples of how the video game industry didn’t always take itself so seriously, and sometimes let their advertisements reflect the spirit of their games… through fun. For this installment, we’re specifically highlighting SEGA’s ads from the 1990’s. SEGA was a key driver in pushing gaming to a more mature audience, and it certainly shows in some of these ads. To see previous installments, select below.

Enjoy!

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In case you’re having trouble reading the fine print: “You sit there, eyes glued to the writhing, arcade-quality graphics, pulling and squeezing your knob. Now you’re breathing heavily over the digital stereo sound. Now you’re shooting all over the place, but it’s no use…’GAME OVER.'”

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Don’t worry, it was aborted. Eh, maybe more euthanized, I suppose.

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Why does it look like the Game Gear has three action buttons? That’s not right! I’m outraged!

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“Hey, kids! Do you live in fear of abusive parents? Don’t forget to let them win!” …I love this ad so much.

Linford Christie is a British sprinter who I guess is known for having ample man parts?

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Ryan Reynolds was a weirdo in the mid-90s.

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You just lost a sale, SEGA.

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This ad is technically for a Tengen tennis game not published by SEGA. Why did I include it? I just… sorta felt like it.

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Yes, that’s a hairy pair o’ balls. British balls.

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Ah, the SEGA Saturn centerfold pinup. Hey! I could go for some “Virtua Cop!”

Last but certainly not least… the legendary Japanese ad campaign for the SEGA Saturn featuring Segata Sanshiro. What better way to sell games than ruining Christmas, gutting a fish and beating up kids? (Courtesy of Saturn Memories)

Thanks for reading! To see the older installments of Cheeky Game Ads, click below!

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